How to win a Grand Prix in 2012

This entry is part 21 of 30 in the series Right Index Finger

The code has been cracked.

It is now known what is required to win a Grand Prix this season.

The For­mula required to be num­ber One in 2012 is simple.

What can be estab­lished is that the win­ner of each race this sea­son endures a aver­age to poor race prior to their vic­tory, then backs up at the next race with a decid­edly poor outing.

As defined by the fol­low­ing sta­tis­tics. (Race won in italics)


Aus­tralia — 1st

Malaysia — 14th


Aus­tralia — 5th

Malaysia — 1st

China — 9th


Malaysia — 13th

China — 1st

Bahrain — 5th


China — 5th

Bahrain — 1st

Spain — 6th


Bahrain — DNF

Spain — 1st

Monaco — ???

On the basis of these stats, Mal­don­ado, or sim­ply “Man­aldo”, as my col­league refers to him, will fin­ish in eighth or ninth posi­tion at Monaco.

You can bet your bot­tom dol­lar on this happening.

Thus, using the pro­vided sta­tis­tics, the for­mula for vic­tory in 2012 is dic­tated by medi­oc­rity or com­plete failure.

As for the win­ner at Monaco?

We’ve even got this one fig­ured out

As an exten­sion of the “Poor-Win-Poor” the­ory, a dri­ver who has either fin­ished fifth/finished out­side the points or retired from the pre­vi­ous race race is guar­an­teed of victory.

It works on an alter­nate basis, as the last vic­tor in Mal­don­ado retired at the pre­vi­ous race, Ros­berg was thir­teenth at Malaysia, vic­to­ri­ous at China, whilst Vet­tel fin­ished fifth before his win at Bahrain, and the same goes for Alonso who went on to win at Malaysia.

So, the man who will win the next race fin­ished in fifth posi­tion at Spain.

There­fore, after much analy­sis, the win­ner of the Monaco Grand Prix is…

Kamui Kobayashi!

And if it’s not him, which is incred­i­bly doubt­ful, as it would destory this com­pletely log­i­cal solu­tion to win­ning a race in 2012, the only other man to fin­ish in fifth this sea­son with­out win­ning a race, and there­fore the only alter­na­tive can­di­date to win at Monaco…

Kimi Raikko­nen.

Either of these two men, guar­an­teed of victory.

Crack­ing the code, Real-Motorsport style!

We pride our­selves on bring­ing you exclu­sives, and we look for­ward to bring­ing you many more rev­e­la­tions in sea­son 2012!

Series Nav­i­ga­tion« Schu­macher crit­i­cism b*ll#hi^Eter­nal Sun­shine Of The Schumeister’s Mind »

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